The Big Break In
I heard something interesting the other day shared by someone in a fairly high position in the district. Basically, this person stated that until a teacher (or anyone in a new job) has experienced something that really shakes them to the core, they haven't been "broken in". Lets look at a hypothetical situation. Suppose a student makes personal attacks on other kids as well as adults while using a popular teen website. The person in the position of authority takes what he/she believes are the correct steps to address the situation. In no time at all, the situation has drawn the attention of the media and a civil rights group.
Has anything happened to you this year that has really made you question your teaching or decisions you have made? Possibly difficult conversations with parents? Students that fail to take responsibility for their own behaviors? How have you dealt with those situations? What did you learn from them? Were you able to get resolution? This can be from a past teaching experience or job.
Please list the problem itself in very general terms (as this is a public forum). However, share in more detail how it affected you as a teacher
If you want to share something confidential, please use the journal format and email to Ray and I.
posted by melissa m.o. @ 9:28 AM
4 Comments:
I had an experience a few years ago that was difficult for me in several ways. I had a student in my second hour class that was lethargic and withdrawn. I had a difficult time getting him to talk to me or participate in class. The third week of school I called his mother to discuss the situation. She was very concerned about his behaviour and had noticed the same thing at home. She told me she was an elementary school teacher in the same district, and the school was actually two blocks from where I was teaching. Therefore, we could communicate via district e-mail. She would often e-mail me after second hour to see how her son was in class that day. About three monthes after the initial converstaion, this woman e-mailed me with some concerning information. She wrote (in district e-mail) that she was concerned about her son because his father had roughed him up the night before. He had pushed, and punched him. She went on to describe the situation which was clearly inappropriate and abusive. I was shocked as I read this and unsure how to handle the situation. She was a colleague of mine and I was a mandatory reporter by law. I printed the e-mail and saved it and immediately went to my administrator. I handed him the e-mail and explained the situation. He was very supportive and told me that I did the right thing by reporting to him. He contacted the HR department and they invovled social services.
The student was then absent from my class for a few days. When he returned he was more withdrawn and refused to speak to me. I felt guilty about this. Approximately one week later his parents enrolled him in a school in another town. I was concerned for him and wondered if they were hiding a problem. I never did find out how social services handled this situation. I felt that I did the right thing but I was nervous to see his mother, who I knew I would eventually run into. I wondered if she was crying out for help when she sent the email. She must have known that I would have to report it.
The next school year I was a mentor for new teachers. I attended some mentor training in the summer. The mother of this boy was still teaching in the district and was also at the mentor training. The first day she confronted me and told me that she understood why I had turned the e-mail over to the administrator. I didn't feel it was apporpriate for me to ask specific questions. I did ask how her son was doing and she responded that he was great! I doubted this.
I learned many things from this situation. First of all, e-mail can be a tricky way to communicate. You cannot read the tone or body language of the writer. I also learned to be very careful about what I write within e-mails to both parents and other colleages. I also expereinced the process one goes through when they report abuse. However, I didn't feel resolution because I was never sure if this boy received help.
I had a student commit suicide when I was at Heritage. That is probably the most difficult experience that I have had. Looking back there were many signs, but they only seem to be clear when you have the end to put those things into focus. I don't want to ever repeat that, but difficulties in this job are what refine us if we let them. It is with struggles that we to grow not necessarily in the nice easy moments.
They are our teachable moments that we can learn from if we don't allow them to make us bitter. I see what you went through MLillie as an experience that is hard, but affirms your care and concern for your students. You made a tough choice and it must be hard to not know the outcome, but you did the right thing!
One of the less dramatic but more common dilemmas that seems to be a theme is students begging for grades at the end of the semester. I had a student who failed my class and came in begging for ways to pass after I had submitted grades. I tried re-doing the math several ways, but the student had not completed the requirements set for the class. To make matters worse, my failing grade would make him inelligible for the extracurricular activites he was involved in. I also happened to really like this student as a person. I certainly feel like students desperate for grades they haven't earned is a situation that tests my resolve and challenges my fundamental beliefs about education.
Two of my students have lost their mom this year and I have taken a hit to the gut in how to help them. I am glad that I have had the privilege in talking to them in depth. I hurt for these girls.
Post a Comment
<< Home